You can’t always be the perfect mother, I know that, but I am definitely a grumpy mum today.
My daughter is about to turn three and is having one of her grump days. She has always been a feisty child and I am secretly glad she is. I want her to grow up with a strong sense of self and what it is she wants. I am not looking to restrict that.
But…I am not feeling my best today and her warring with me all morning has worn me down, so I start shouting. Shouting never works and in my mind i know that, but somehow I cannot stop myself from turning up the volume when she just won’t listen to a word I say.
I know she has much of me in her and when you try to push authority on her she explodes. I was the same… and I still am to be honest. I cannot stand people telling me what to do or what to think. I can make up my own mind, thank you very much! I often wish some of my husband’s character had rubbed off on her as he is the extremely laid back type. He has to be to put up with me, ha! But no, she is me through and through…
Being a mother is one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I love my daughter more than I could express in words. Sometimes I look at her and my soul sings, I love her so incredibly much. She is a part of me like no other person could ever be.
So when I do shout at her or get really angry I feel guilty. I am a rather volatile person with little to no patience, but I feel I should be able to reign myself in a bit more. Worse is, I can already see her taking over these bad habits. Not good.
I really must find another way to deal with her defiance. Maybe next time I will try a sweet smile and some blackmail…