Mum’s The Issue

Well, sort of.

I just feel like I need to get this off my chest, because I am annoyed and it feels like I am about to boil over, so what better to do for therapy than writing a blog post. Ha!

Does anyone else have parents that seem incapable of giving positive praise? With mine it seems to usually be either criticism, or apathy, and at the moment it really bothers me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love and respect my parents and I have a good relationship with them, but just sometimes I wish they would show that they respect me as well; that it is not just a one-way street.

Today was a prime example. I cleared a whole lot of garden from nettles and their evil roots and I was mighty proud of myself, because it was looking so tidy. So I said to my  mum that it took me quite some work, but that I was really happy that it was looking so tidy. All she said was: “Well, I did it last year and you let it grow wild again.”

That is a typical reaction. Nothing can ever be just positive. A negative always follows whatever comes out of her mouth and I find it so hard. Am I really such a failure in her eyes?

I have heard from other people how proud my parents are that I (we) managed to do this gorgeous barn conversion. I have even heard them hint at that to other people, just never to me personally. As if giving a compliment to me directly is too much to ask.

It hurts every time it happens. I just don’t understand. I have a daughter now myself and I know I give her praise in a way my parents never gave me. I believe wholeheartedly in positive reinforcement and I can see how my daughter responds so well to it.

I do not need my parents to tell me they love me. I know they do, even if they have never said it, but just a compliment or a ‘well done’ would mean the world to me…

Therapy session over…

Thanks for listening/reading… xx


What went on in February 2017?

So it has been a couple of months. Time flies for sure.

I have been doing more thinking than writing it seems, but sobeit. Just the way it goes sometimes. I have been doing way too much shopping (not kidding) over the last month or so. I have given my wardrobe a major overhaul, as well as my cosmetics and skincare drawer (it actually is a drawer I keep that stuff in). I am coming to the end of my shopping spree, as my need to buy things is dwindling.

I have spent a lot of money in one month, but I know it is all good useful stuff, and the rest of the year will be much less expensive. I took major advantage of the January/February sales to update my wardrobe and got some great stuff that I know I will get a lot of wear out of and I will not have to shop big again for a good couple of years.

Clothes-wise, some of my favourite things I have been wearing are a couple of new jumpers. In winter jeans and a jumper is my staple, but my jumper collection was pretty uninspiring, so I bought a few new ones and got rid of a bunch of old ones that I did not feel good in. Life’s too short to dress in things you do not like!

Otherwise, I am really pleased with some of the practical clothes for summer I have been bought. I will be doing a lot of cycling, taking my daughter to school, and I was in desperate need for some practical spring/summer clothes. I have bought a couple of jumpsuits that I know I will wear a lot over the summer. They look good and will be great for cycling in. I have also for the first time in my life bought some dungarees. They are black denim and look pretty awesome! Perfect for spring!

Part of my recent wardrobe overhaul is probably the fact that I am starting to come into my own style-wise. I like what I like and have little reference to anyone else these days. I don’t really care whether anyone else around me wears the kind of clothes I wear and I think I am more confident being a little different. As long as I feel good in what I wear, it does not really matter (as long as I don’t look a complete arse).

I have also started to take better care of my skin lately, as well as wearing a bit more make-up. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I am turning 38 tomorrow… Maybe? I am not suddenly caked in foundation or anything, but I am just taking a little more care and I am actually enjoying putting on my eye shadow and lippie every day (well, most days). With that for some reason has come an awareness of what I am actually putting on my face and I am trying to find more natural skincare products and cosmetics. For a week or two I went completely bonkers and decided everything needed to be completely natural. I do that, I get obsessed with something for a little while and research it to death, feeling like I need to change my whole life. Now that storm is over and I am more rational, but feel good about the changes I have made and I am making.

I have decided that the more of something I put on my skin, the more I want them to be natural. For instance, I have changed to 100% natural moisturisers, cleansers, and stuff like that, which I apply all over my face every day. With other things, like eye shadows and lipsticks, I am more aware, but not incredibly fussed, as I use them on only a small area.

On a side note, who knew you can use pure coconut oil as a make-up remover?!

Eventually I want to change my soaps and shampoos to more natural products, but I want to finish up what I have first. No need to waste any of it! I will be sorry to move away from my Aussie shampoo, that’s for sure – it smells divine. I will just have to find something that smells similarly amazing!

But as I said, the changes feel good. Now the obsession is over I know it is the right thing for me and I feel happy applying these products to my face every day, knowing there is no rubbish in there.

But because of my recent obsession with skincare and cosmetics, I may well be doing some posts on that in the near future.

What else happened? There was a little storm called Doris that caused a little bit of damage. She blew the roof off our shed, which then damaged window sills of our barn conversion. Hopefully that will be fixed next week. I love my house, but I bloody hate it when it’s stormy. Wooden houses creak an awful lot when the wind hits it full on the side and I don’t like that… at all!

Music-wise February has not been that exciting for me. I have been listening to a lot of my old favourites, such as Ash, We Are Scientists and The Charlatans. Oh, and Vampire Weekend. In the car I had Modern Vampires of the City on non-stop throughout most of February. That album is, what, almost four years old, but it’s so amazing. I just did not get bored of it at all.

I did buy a few new albums as well, but I will get to that some other time. They are mainly oldies.

For this month, what am I looking forward to? I did catch a couple of new Circa Waves songs lately and the new songs sound a bit beefier and, in my opinion, better. I really liked Young Chasers, but it was a little ‘light’. Perfect for summery car rides, pleasant, but kind of forgettable. I have pre-ordered a signed copy of their new album Different Creatures, which is out on Friday. High hopes for that one!

Just on a side note. There are some bands that I am hoping will release some new music this year. Tim Wheeler from Ash said that they hope to have a new album together by summer (YAY!). I am also hoping for new albums by Vampire Weekend and Alvvays (please, please, please). It would also be good if The Vryll Society could release an album. Asylums have been writing new music as well, so something by them would be good too.

I will leave things here for now. Sorry about the big ramble, but clearly I had much I wanted to say without actually saying much, if you get my drift.

Kris x