Well, sort of.
I just feel like I need to get this off my chest, because I am annoyed and it feels like I am about to boil over, so what better to do for therapy than writing a blog post. Ha!
Does anyone else have parents that seem incapable of giving positive praise? With mine it seems to usually be either criticism, or apathy, and at the moment it really bothers me.
Don’t get me wrong, I love and respect my parents and I have a good relationship with them, but just sometimes I wish they would show that they respect me as well; that it is not just a one-way street.
Today was a prime example. I cleared a whole lot of garden from nettles and their evil roots and I was mighty proud of myself, because it was looking so tidy. So I said to my mum that it took me quite some work, but that I was really happy that it was looking so tidy. All she said was: “Well, I did it last year and you let it grow wild again.”
That is a typical reaction. Nothing can ever be just positive. A negative always follows whatever comes out of her mouth and I find it so hard. Am I really such a failure in her eyes?
I have heard from other people how proud my parents are that I (we) managed to do this gorgeous barn conversion. I have even heard them hint at that to other people, just never to me personally. As if giving a compliment to me directly is too much to ask.
It hurts every time it happens. I just don’t understand. I have a daughter now myself and I know I give her praise in a way my parents never gave me. I believe wholeheartedly in positive reinforcement and I can see how my daughter responds so well to it.
I do not need my parents to tell me they love me. I know they do, even if they have never said it, but just a compliment or a ‘well done’ would mean the world to me…
Therapy session over…
Thanks for listening/reading… xx